Friendship

Friends. You have them, you love them, you take them for granted. They change through the years. Rare is the friend who remains over time. In learning to appreciate the instant connections which bring so much pleasure as well as the long term soul knowing friendships, I have identified five things about friendship that enrich our lives.

As a side note, have you noticed that the Church can do this well? The majority of my richest friendships are through my Church community. I love seeing the Church loving on each other!

1. Playmate

Typically the first phase of a friendship, playmates come into your life because you have a shared interest. You enjoy their company, and you start to form bonds based on your hobby, adventures together, or time spent doing an activity together. Perhaps you join a sport, and on the team you find someone who shares your interest in perfecting... Chinese brush painting, of all things. As C.S. Lewis said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."” (Four Loves).

2. Memory-makers

Friends enrich your life experience. While spending time with your playmate, suddenly you realize that you have created a ton of really great memories because of your friend. You and your friend attend a Chinese brush painting exhibition together. You geek out together. You find a brush painting technique class and take it together, all making good memories. You might not have done any of these things but for having a friend along to do them with. Friends encourage you to do things that you might not have done otherwise, creating wonderful memories. 

3. Confidant

Soon, you find out more about your friend. You hear about her difficult relationship with her mom. Your conversation goes to a deeper level. Then, when you experience a trauma, you go to your friend to share your concern. You share your excitement when good happens. You find that your friendship has become a safe place to voice concerns and get feedback and encouragement. 

4. Accountability

Now that your friend knows your issues because you've shared them in deep, confidential conversations together, you discover that they can play a role in helping you make the changes you want to see in your life. You both hear about a new diet that you want to try, so you become accountability for each other to stick with the diet. You become running buddies. You call each other once a week to see how you are doing on your goals. Having someone to keep you accountable makes your goals more achievable. 

5. Backbone

Finally, the best and truest friends are the ones that have seen your good and your bad. They know you can't hold a tune to save your life, but that you have a fierce love for your family and become mama bear when anyone threatens your baby. They have seen you battle depression, and they know that you will inhale chocolate covered anything like your life depends on it. They have truly seen the good, the bad, and the ugly, but you know what? They stuck around. They are now your backbone. They are your support for when you really need support. Moving apart geographically? They will be your new vacation spot. As time goes on, you continue to grow closer. These friends are closer than blood. They will be a part of your life, no matter what life brings. 

Gratefulness fills my heart when I think of these friends, because right now? I've got them. The community developing around us is so rich. I have several ladies who speak truth in my life, and to whom I am able to love on generously. Several couples have become close friends with my husband and I. You know, the people you call when you need help with your car, when you need another set of hands to move furniture, or when you have extra food on the table and spontaneously invite them for dinner. 

Do you have these five types of friends in your life? 
What can you do take your friendships to the next level?