With every birth of a baby is the birth of
another person - Mom. In an instant (well, after hours of intense labor…),
everything changes. Who is this person called Mom? She doesn’t feel like me. I
can feel her potential, what she might become, but fitting together the pieces
of who I was and my new identity as Mom is a daunting task. In my case,
medication, therapy, and time would be necessary to put those pieces back
together. For all of us, becoming Mom is a time when our hearts and bodies need
extra care and attention. Here are five ways we can help one another grow into
Mom without losing ourselves in the process.
1. Be Present. It's easy to feel like
new parents need space and that you don't want to bother them. Should I call
now? What if she's sleeping? Don't be afraid to reach out, even if it's a text
instead of calling. Keep inviting her to things, even if she says no. Let your
new mom friends know that you are still there for her.
2. Help Each Other. Have you ever felt
bad when another mom asked for help? I am always glad to know what she needs
specifically! By communicating needs and helping each other, friendship deepens
and becomes richer.
3. Find a Hobby. Take a class, go
for a jog, read a good book, find something that fills you up and DO IT. Yes,
Baby takes time. Yes, the house needs cleaning. Yes, there are a million
reasons not to take time for yourself. You know what? A filled up mom is worth
it. YOU are worth it. Remember who you are, and stay true to it. Your baby,
your partner, and your life will be better because of it.
4. Know the signs of Perinatal Mood
Disorders. Your hormones go through a crazy roller coaster after giving
birth. This is normal. We can all
support moms through the Baby Blues by giving a listening ear and normalizing
all of those emotions. If a mom seems stuck in the sadness, however, be aware
that she could need more help. Use the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale as a
tool to measure a new mom's ability to enjoy life. Educate yourself with
resources from the APA and Postpartum Support International. Know that you are not alone.
5. Laugh often, and Enjoy the Moment. Help a new mom keep her
sense of humor by helping her laugh. Gather up your crew of kids, wash their
hands when you get there, and go hang out in a new mom's backyard this summer.
She will appreciate your presence. Hold the new baby, do the dishes while Mom
showers, take older siblings to the park, help keep the mood light and
appreciate the little things in life. Becoming Mom is a team sport.
How has the journey of 'becoming Mom' affected you?
What helped you the most in the first weeks of a new baby?
